Friday, October 24, 2025

Why Would I Forgive Someone “Seventy Times Seven?”


Heavenly Father, anger and bitterness can rot our hearts and poison our soul. Teach us how to forgive and help us to flourish in your grace.


If you’re someone who holds grudges, if you keep score and can’t let things go, then you need to know something: You will suffer in life. You will also see your prayer life come to a screeching halt.


Forgiveness is the key to all healthy, strong, and lasting relationships. That’s why we must realize how important it is to forgive. Jesus said, “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24, ESV).


Maybe you’ve decided that you won’t forgive someone who has wronged you. Guess who will be the one to get hurt? You will. Harboring resentment and unforgiveness will hurt you more than the person you’re refusing to forgive. If you want to be healthy and vibrant spiritually, then you must learn to forgive.


Jesus taught us to pray, “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12, ESV).


You may think they don’t deserve forgiveness. But do you? Do I? No, we don’t. Our forgiveness doesn’t hinge on forgiving others, but forgiving others should hinge on God’s gracious and generous forgiveness toward us.


The forgiveness that comes to us from Christ is based on His merit and on His death and His love for us. If we know anything about what Christ has done for us, then we should forgive others.


The Bible says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32, ESV).


Forgiven people should be forgiving people. And if you want to be healthy and vibrant spiritually, then you must learn to forgive.


Forgiveness in the Kingdom Community


As evangelicals, we hold the Bible as the inspired, inerrant Word of God, and we seek to understand it in its historical, cultural, and linguistic context to apply it faithfully to our lives. Matthew 18:21-35 stands as a cornerstone teaching on forgiveness within the community of believers—what Jesus calls the "kingdom of heaven." This passage isn't just about personal piety; it's about how forgiveness fosters healthy relationships in the body of Christ. We'll exegete the text step by step, using the English Standard Version (ESV), while highlighting key words and phrases from the original Greek to uncover deeper layers of meaning. Through this, we'll see how Jesus calls us to a radical, grace-filled forgiveness that mirrors God's own mercy.


Peter's Question and Jesus' Radical Response (Matthew 18:21-22)


The passage opens with a direct interaction between Peter and Jesus: "Then Peter came up and said to him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times'" (Matthew 18:21-22, ESV).


Let's unpack this exegetically. Peter, ever the impulsive disciple, approaches Jesus with a question rooted in Jewish tradition. The Greek word for "brother" here is adelphos (ἀδελφός), which in this context extends beyond biological siblings to fellow believers in the faith community. It's the same term used throughout the New Testament to describe the church as a family (e.g., Romans 12:10). Peter's query uses posakis (ποσάκις), meaning "how often" or "how many times," reflecting a quantitative mindset. He suggests "up to seven times" (heos heptakis, ἕως ἑπτάκις), which was generous by rabbinic standards. Many Jewish teachers, drawing from passages like Amos 1:3-13, limited forgiveness to three offenses, but Peter doubles it plus one, perhaps thinking he's embodying the spirit of mercy Jesus had just taught in verses 15-20 about church discipline and reconciliation.


Jesus' response shatters this limited framework. He says, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times" (ou lego soi heos heptakis all' heos hebdomēkontakis hepta, οὐ λέγω σοι ἕως ἑπτάκις ἀλλ’ ἕως ἑβδομηκοντάκις ἑπτά). The phrase "seventy-seven times" has sparked debate due to its Greek construction. Hebdomēkontakis hepta can be rendered as "seventy times seven" (490) or "seventy-seven," echoing the Septuagint's translation of Genesis 4:24, where Lamech boasts of seventy-sevenfold vengeance. Jesus inverts this: instead of unlimited revenge, He commands unlimited forgiveness. The key verb is aphiēmi (ἀφίημι), translated as "forgive," which literally means "to let go," "release," or "send away." It's the same word used for the remission of sins (e.g., Matthew 6:12) and implies a complete release from debt or obligation, not mere tolerance.


From an evangelical perspective, this isn't about earning salvation; forgiveness flows from the cross, but about living out the Gospel in relationships. Peter's question reveals our human tendency to quantify grace, but Jesus points to an inexhaustible well. As commentator R.T. France notes, Jesus "does away with all limits and calculations." Healthy forgiveness isn't a ledger; it's a lifestyle of grace that prevents bitterness from poisoning the soul, as our opening prayer laments.


The Parable's Setup: An Unpayable Debt (Matthew 18:23-27)


Jesus illustrates His point with a parable: "Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.' And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt" (Matthew 18:23-27, ESV).


Exegetically, this parable is tied to the "kingdom of heaven" (basileia tōn ouranōn, βασιλεία τῶν οὐρανῶν), a phrase Matthew uses 32 times to describe God's rule breaking into human affairs through Jesus. The king represents God, and the "servants" (douloi, δοῦλοι) are His people, accountable for stewardship. The debt is staggering: "ten thousand talents" (myriōn talantōn, μυρίων ταλάντων). A talent was about 20 years' wages for a laborer, so 10,000 talents equated to millions or billions in modern terms—an absurd, unpayable sum symbolizing our sin debt before God (Romans 3:23).


The servant's plea uses makrothymeō (μακροθυμέω), "have patience," implying long-suffering, and promises repayment, a futile vow. The king's response is splanchnizomai (σπλαγχνίζομαι), "out of pity" or "moved with compassion," a visceral term from the guts (splanchna), often describing Jesus' emotions (e.g., Matthew 9:36). He doesn't just delay; he aphiēmi the debt, i.e., he fully forgives it.


Evangelically, this mirrors the gospel: We owe God an infinite debt through sin, but in Christ, He cancels it (Colossians 2:14). Healthy forgiveness begins here—recognizing our own forgiveness empowers us to extend it. As John Wesley preached, "He who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass."


The Twist: The Unforgiving Servant's Hypocrisy (Matthew 18:28-30)


The story turns: "But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, 'Pay what you owe.' So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you.' He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt" (Matthew 18:28-30, ESV).


The contrast is stark. The forgiven servant encounters a "fellow servant" (syndoulos, σύνδουλος), emphasizing equality in the kingdom. The debt? "A hundred denarii" (hekaton dēnariōn, ἑκατὸν δηναρίων)—a day's wages times 100, trivial compared to the talents. Yet, he "seizes" (krateō, κρατέω) and "chokes" (pnigō, πνίγω) him, violent actions showing no mercy. The plea mirrors his own: makrothymeō again, but he "refused" (ou thelō, οὐ θέλω), literally "would not."


This exposes the heart issue. Greek thelō denotes willful choice; unforgiveness is a decision, not an emotion. Evangelicals see this as a warning: Receiving grace without extending it leads to spiritual stagnation. As C.S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity, "To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you."


The Reckoning: Judgment for Unforgiveness (Matthew 18:31-35)


The parable concludes: "When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?' And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to everyone of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart" (Matthew 18:31-35, ESV).


The "fellow servants" are "distressed" (lypeō, λυπέω), grieved, and report to the master. The king calls him "wicked" (ponēros, πονηρός), evil or malicious. He highlights the hypocrisy: "Should not you have had mercy" (eleeō, ἐλεέω), to show compassion, "as I had mercy on you" (kagō, καὶ ἐγώ, emphasizing reciprocity).


The punishment: "Delivered him to the jailers" (basanistēs, βασανιστής), torturers, until payment, a lifelong sentence for an unpayable debt. Jesus applies it: "So also my heavenly Father will do to you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart" (ek kardias, ἐκ καρδίας), from the core of being, not superficially.


Exegetically, this isn't works-based salvation; evangelicals affirm justification by faith (Ephesians 2:8-9). Rather, it's about fruit: True faith produces forgiveness (James 2:14-26). Unforgiveness indicates an unregenerate heart, risking eternal consequences (Matthew 6:14-15).


Applying Healthy Forgiveness Today


Now, let's bridge this to our lives. Healthy forgiveness, as taught here, is restorative, not enabling. It releases the offender from our judgment, entrusting justice to God (Romans 12:19). Consider Corrie ten Boom, Holocaust survivor and evangelical icon. After the war, she met a former Nazi guard who sought forgiveness. Struggling, she prayed, and God enabled her to extend her hand. She later said, "Forgiveness is not an emotion... it's an act of the will." That's aphiēmi in action—letting go.


In marriages, unforgiveness breeds resentment. A couple I counseled held grudges over small offenses, tallying like Peter. Through studying this passage, they learned to forgive "from the heart," revitalizing their bond. Parents, forgive your children endlessly, modeling God's patience. In churches, where adelphos applies most directly, unresolved conflicts fracture unity. Jesus' teaching follows instructions on discipline (18:15-20), showing forgiveness as the goal of confrontation.


Psychologically, unforgiveness harms health, stress, high blood pressure, and depression. Studies from the Mayo Clinic affirm bitterness "rots the heart," as our prayer says. Spiritually, it hinders prayer (Mark 11:25) and growth. But forgiveness flourishes grace: It frees us to love as Christ loved (John 13:34).


What if the offense is grievous, like abuse? Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or reconciling without repentance. Jesus assumes repentance in context (Luke 17:3-4 parallels this). Boundaries are biblical (Proverbs 4:23), but we release bitterness internally. Seek counseling, pray for healing, and remember: God's forgiveness cost Jesus' life. Ours pales in comparison.


In our polarized world, forgive political foes, online trolls, or cultural opponents. Evangelicals, called to be salt and light, must embody this. As Billy Graham said, "Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself."


Flourishing in Grace: A Call to Action


Matthew 18:21-22 isn't a rulebook but a revelation of God's heart. Through Greek lenses, aphiēmi's release, hebdomēkontakis hepta's boundlessness, we see forgiveness as kingdom currency. We've been forgiven infinitely; let's forgive likewise.


If bitterness grips you, confess it. Pray Matthew 6:12 daily. Journal offenses and cross them out, symbolizing release. Share your story in the community; accountability fosters health.


Heavenly Father, as we close, melt our hardened hearts. Teach us healthy forgiveness, that we might flourish in Your grace, unburdened and vibrant. In Jesus' name, Amen.

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Why Would I Forgive Someone “Seventy Times Seven?”

Heavenly Father, anger and bitterness can rot our hearts and poison our soul. Teach us how to forgive and help us to flourish in your grace....