Everywhere we turn these days, there is an opportunity to take offense. It seems that overnight, our world has become more digitized than ever. At the same time, our country has grown increasingly politicized. Unless you live in complete isolation, devoid of any interaction with others online or in person, you are bound to encounter people with whom you disagree, and often, the matter of contention sparks strong emotions.
As Christians, we are not called to argue every topic or broadcast our stances as statuses on social media. Instead, we are called to love others and be peacemakers. The Bible instructs us, “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14, ESV). But how do we live this out with someone we strongly disagree with?
Scripture provides the answer. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV), we read a profound description of love:
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Reading about love is one thing; putting it into action is another. Below are five biblical ways to love those with whom we disagree, each grounded in Scripture and enriched with practical steps to help us reflect Christ in a divided world.
Listen: The Art of Understanding
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19, ESV).
We cannot claim to show love if we do not first listen to what others have to say. The Greek word for “listen” in this verse is akouō, which means to hear with understanding or to comprehend. It’s not just about letting sound waves hit our ears; it’s about grasping the meaning behind the words. This kind of listening requires us to set aside our agendas and biases.
Listen to Understand, Not to Argue
Too often, we listen to rebut rather than understand. We formulate counterarguments before the other person has finished speaking. Proverbs 18:13 (ESV) warns against this: “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” The Hebrew word for “hears” here is shama, implying discernment and attention. When we interrupt or jump to conclusions, we dishonor the speaker and miss an opportunity to show love.
Jesus modeled this beautifully in His encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4:7-26). Despite cultural and religious divides, He listened to her story, engaged her questions, and spoke truth in a way that met her where she was. He didn’t dismiss her; He dignified her by listening.
Look for Common Ground
When someone shares a passionate opinion, we should listen with our mind, heart, and spirit. Our goal isn’t to pick apart their argument but to find points of connection. This doesn’t mean abandoning our convictions—it means recognizing shared humanity. Romans 12:9-10 (ESV) urges us, “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Listening sincerely honors the other person.
Understanding the heart behind an opinion is also key. Strong views often stem from deep convictions or past experiences. When we listen for intent, we uncover the “why” behind their words, fostering empathy and building bridges.
Practical Application
Practice Active Listening: Paraphrase what they say to confirm understanding, e.g., “What I hear you saying is… Is that right?”
Avoid Interrupting: Let them finish their thoughts, showing patience and respect.
Listen for Emotions: Notice if they’re speaking from fear, hurt, or frustration, and respond with compassion.
Be Humble: Embracing a Teachable Spirit
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3, ESV).
Humility is the willingness to admit we might not always be right. The Greek word for “humility” here is tapeinophrosynē, meaning lowliness of mind or modesty. It stands in stark contrast to pride, which fuels division and defensiveness.
The Danger of Pride
Pride blinds us to our faults and hinders reconciliation. It demands to be right at the cost of relationships. Humility, however, opens us to others’ perspectives and allows us to grow. Proverbs 9:7-10 (ESV) contrasts two responses to correction:
“Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.”
The Hebrew word for “scoffer” is lêṣ, describing someone who mocks and resists correction. The “wise man” (ḥākām), however, welcomes it. When criticized, do we lash out like a scoffer or listen like the wise? Our response reveals our heart.
Biblical Examples of Humility
The prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) humbled himself, returning home to receive grace. Paul, once a persecutor, humbled himself before God and became a vessel for the gospel (Acts 9:1-19). Humility paves the way for restoration and growth.
Practical Application
Admit When You’re Wrong: Acknowledge mistakes to build trust.
Seek Feedback: Ask others for their input on your views or actions.
Resist Defensiveness: Pause and reflect on criticism rather than reacting.
Lament with the Brokenhearted: The Power of Empathy
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18, ESV).
Sometimes, love means being present with those who hurt, even if we don’t share their perspective. The Hebrew phrase šābar lēb (“brokenhearted”) paints a picture of a heart shattered by grief. God draws near to such pain, and we must follow His example.
Empathy in Action
Empathy isn’t agreement—it’s sharing in another’s feelings. Jesus wept with Mary and Martha over Lazarus’ death (John 11:33-35), despite knowing He’d raise him. His tears showed that He entered their sorrow. We may disagree with someone’s views, but we can still mourn with them in their pain.
Encouraging Words
Ephesians 4:29 (ESV) says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” The Greek word oikodomē, meaning “building up,” refers to edification. Our words can lift others toward hope.
Practical Application
Be Present: Sit with someone in their pain without rushing to fix it.
Validate Feelings: Say, “I see this is really hard for you.”
Offer Hope: Share a Scripture, such as Psalm 34:18, to point them to God.
Transforming Hearts Through Intercession
“But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:44-45, ESV).
Praying for those we disagree with is a divine command. The Greek word agapaō (“love”) denotes selfless, sacrificial love—God’s love for us, which we extend even to enemies.
The Power of Prayer
Prayer may not always change others, but it transforms us. It replaces bitterness with peace. Proverbs 15:1-2 (ESV) advises, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” The Hebrew word rak (“soft”) suggests gentleness, diffusing tension.
How to Pray
For Their Well-Being: Ask God to bless and draw them near.
For Wisdom: Seek guidance in how to respond.
For Unity: Pray for common ground in Christ.
Practical Application
Set a Time: Pray daily for those you disagree with.
Use Scripture: Pray Ephesians 1:17 over them.
Pray Together: If possible, join others in intercession.
Rejoice in the Truth Anchored in God’s Word
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32, ESV).
When efforts to love yield strife, we rest in God’s truth. The Greek word alētheia (“truth”) signifies reality—Jesus Himself (John 14:6). Rejoicing in Him keeps us steady.
Balancing Truth and Love
Ephesians 4:15 (ESV) calls us to speak “the truth in love.” We stand firm without wielding truth as a club, trusting the Spirit to work.
An Eternal Perspective
Ephesians 4:31-32 (ESV) urges, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Our hope is their salvation, not their agreement.
Practical Application
Focus on the Gospel: Share Christ’s love above all.
Celebrate Progress: Rejoice in small steps of understanding.
Stay in Scripture: Anchor yourself in God’s Word.
The Choice Is Yours
Disagreements are inevitable, but our response is a choice. Colossians 3:12-14 (ESV) calls us to “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience… And over all these virtues put on love.” Will you choose love, reflecting Christ in a divided world?
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