What the Bible Says About Marriage

Marriage is central in theology as a divine institution established by God to reflect His covenantal relationship with His people and serve as a conduit for sanctification and evangelism. For those called to this sacred union, the Bible provides authoritative guidance on its nature, purpose, and dynamics. Among the most instructive passages on marriage are Ephesians 5:21-31 and 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, both of which offer profound insights into the roles, responsibilities, and spiritual significance of the marital relationship. When approached from an evangelical perspective, these scriptures reveal marriage as a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, designed to honor God, mirror the Gospel, and foster mutual love and respect.

This blog post explores what the Bible says about marriage through a detailed exegetical and theological examination of Ephesians 5:21-31 and 1 Corinthians 7:3-5. By analyzing these passages in their historical and linguistic contexts, incorporating insights from theologians, and reflecting on their implications for believers, this discussion aims to provide a comprehensive understanding of God’s design for marriage.

Exegetical Analysis

Ephesians 5:21-31: Mutual Submission and Christlike Love

Ephesians 5:21-31 offers one of the New Testament’s most comprehensive teachings on marriage, framing it as a relationship rooted in mutual submission and modeled after Christ’s love for the Church. The passage begins with a foundational exhortation: “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21, ESV). This verse establishes the tone for the following marital instructions, emphasizing a posture of mutual deference grounded in devotion to Christ.

Key Terms and Their Etymology

The Greek term for “submit” is hypotasso (ὑποτάσσω), derived from hypo (under) and tasso (to arrange or order). According to the Lexham Analytical Lexicon to the Greek New Testament, hypotasso means to place oneself under another’s authority or to align oneself in a supportive role. In Ephesians 5:21, its use in the middle voice with the reciprocal “one another” (allelon) suggests a voluntary, mutual act rather than a unilateral imposition. This mutuality challenges hierarchical misinterpretations, framing submission as an expression of love and unity.

Paul then addresses wives: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22, ESV). Here, hypotasso reappears, linking the wife’s submission to her husband with the Church’s submission to Christ. This parallel elevates the act of submission to a spiritual discipline, reflecting trust and reverence rather than subservience. The phrase “as to the Lord” underscores that this submission is ultimately an act of obedience to God.

For husbands, Paul commands: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25, ESV). The Greek word for “love” is agape (ἀγάπη), a term denoting selfless, sacrificial love, rooted in divine character (Bauer et al., 2000, BDAG). This love is exemplified by Christ’s atoning sacrifice, setting a high standard for husbands to nurture and protect their wives selflessly. The verb “gave himself up” (paradidomi, παράδωμι) connotes a deliberate surrender, reinforcing the call to Christlike servanthood.

The passage concludes with a theological crescendo: “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32, ESV). The term mysterion (μυστήριον) refers to a divine truth once hidden but now revealed (Thayer’s Greek Lexicon). Marriage, Paul asserts, is a living parable of the Gospel, embodying the union between Christ and His Bride, the Church.

Contextual Insights

Written to the Church in Ephesus, a cosmopolitan hub influenced by Greco-Roman culture, Ephesians reflects Paul’s intent to Christianize household codes (Haustafeln), which typically prescribed unilateral submission. By rooting marital roles in Christ’s example, Paul subverts cultural norms, emphasizing mutual love and respect as the foundation of marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5: Mutual Responsibilities in Physical Intimacy

In 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, Paul addresses the physical dimension of marriage, offering practical guidance to a church grappling with sexual immorality. He writes: “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does” (1 Corinthians 7:3-4, ESV).

Key Terms and Their Etymology

The phrase “conjugal rights” translates opheile (ὀφειλή), meaning a debt or obligation. This term implies that physical intimacy is a mutual responsibility spouses owe one another, not merely a privilege. The word “authority” is exousia (ἐξουσία), denoting rightful power or control. In this reciprocal construction, Paul underscores the shared ownership inherent in marriage, where each spouse surrenders autonomy for the other’s benefit.

Paul continues: “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:5, ESV). The verb “deprive” (apostereo, ἀποστερέω) means to rob or defraud, suggesting that withholding intimacy unjustly harms the marital bond. The exception for prayer reflects a temporary prioritization of spiritual devotion, balanced by a swift return to physical unity to guard against temptation.

Contextual Insights

The Corinthian church operated in a city notorious for sexual licentiousness, including temple prostitution tied to the cult of Aphrodite. Paul’s earlier rebuke of a man sleeping with his father’s wife (1 Corinthians 5:1, ESV) and his warning against uniting with prostitutes (1 Corinthians 6:15, ESV) highlight the pervasive immorality threatening the Church. His instructions in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 counter this by affirming sexual intimacy within marriage as a God-ordained safeguard against sin, promoting fidelity and mutual care.

Theological Discussion

The Covenantal Nature of Marriage

From an evangelical perspective, marriage is a covenantal relationship, mirroring God’s unbreakable commitment to His people. The Bible frequently employs covenant imagery—seen in God’s promises to Noah (Genesis 9:9-17), Abraham (Genesis 17:7), and Israel (Exodus 19:5-6)—to depict divine-human relationships. Similarly, marriage is a sacred pledge before God, characterized by permanence, exclusivity, and fidelity.

Wayne Grudem, a leading theologian, defines marriage as “a covenant relationship between one man and one woman, established under God, for life.” This covenantal framework, rooted in Genesis 2:24—“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (ESV)—underscores marriage as a divine institution designed to honor God and reflect His faithfulness.

Complementarity of Gender Roles

Theology affirms the complementarity of gender roles within marriage, based on the equal dignity and distinct functions of men and women. Ephesians 5:22-25 delineates these roles: wives submit to husbands as the Church submits to Christ, while husbands love their wives as Christ loves the Church. This complementarity is not about inequality but reflecting the Gospel’s relational dynamics.

John Piper articulates this view: “Headship is the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christlike, servant leadership… Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership.” This mutual interplay ensures that both spouses fulfill their God-given roles in harmony, advancing the marriage’s purpose.

Mutual Love, Respect, and Submission

While roles differ, Ephesians 5:21 and 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 emphasize mutuality in marriage. Mutual submission, rooted in reverence for Christ, calls spouses to prioritize each other’s needs, while mutual authority over one another’s bodies fosters intimacy and protection against sin. Timothy Keller notes, “Marriage is a relationship of mutual submission, in which both partners put the needs of the other before their own” (Keller, 2011, p. 45). This reciprocity reflects the Biblical ideal of unity and selflessness.

Marriage as a Witness to the Gospel

Perhaps the most profound theological insight from Ephesians 5:32 is that marriage serves as a witness to the Gospel. By embodying Christ’s sacrificial love and the Church’s trusting response, Christian marriages proclaim the redemptive narrative to the world. This witness extends beyond evangelism to the sanctification of the spouses, as they grow in holiness through their covenantal commitment.

Associated scriptures reinforce this theme. Proverbs 5:18-19 celebrates marital intimacy as a God-given joy: “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth” (ESV). Hebrews 13:4 upholds marriage’s sanctity: “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled” (ESV). These passages affirm marriage as a divine gift and a Gospel testimony.

Conclusion

The Bible presents marriage as a multifaceted institution—covenantal, complementary, mutual, and Gospel-reflective—through passages like Ephesians 5:21-31 and 1 Corinthians 7:3-5. Exegetically, these texts reveal God’s design for husbands and wives to love, submit, and honor one another in ways that mirror Christ and the Church. Theologically, they underscore marriage’s role in sanctification, evangelism, and glorifying God.

In an era where cultural views of marriage often diverge from Biblical teaching, the evangelical perspective offers a countercultural vision: a lifelong union between one man and one woman, rooted in divine purpose. As believers embrace this model, they strengthen their marriages and bear witness to the Gospel's transformative power, fulfilling God’s intention for this sacred covenant.