Wednesday, February 14, 2024

The Gift of True Friendship: Biblical Insights

 

Friendship is a profound gift. While Scripture speaks often of marriage and family relationships, it also highlights deep bonds of affection and loyalty between friends. Two friendships stand out in particular - that of David and Jonathan in the Old Testament and Jesus's friendship with His disciples in the New Testament. These relationships reveal key facets of godly friendship that remain relevant today.

The tie between David and Jonathan was exceptional, characterized by sacrifice, commitment, and delight. "The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul" (1 Samuel 18:1). Jonathan relinquished his claim to Saul's throne out of devotion to David, risking his father's wrath (1 Samuel 20:30-31). When Jonathan died in battle, David sang: "Your love to me was extraordinary, surpassing the love of women" (2 Samuel 1:26). This remarkable camaraderie shows that human friendship can mirror divine affection.  

Among its wide-ranging practical counsel, the Book of Proverbs offers penetrating insights about friendship. As in all matters, Scripture promotes wisdom in discerning true comrades from false, worthy bonds from those bringing destruction. Guiding principles for faithful camaraderie emerge that remain deeply relevant today.


According to Proverbs, genuine friendship is revealed when adversity strikes. "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" (17:17). The wise recognize that surface-level conviviality often fades when conflict or crisis emerges. Yet true friendship stands firm. It is self-sacrificial for the ultimate good of the other, just as Jonathan relinquished his claim to the throne out of devotion for David (1 Sam 23:16-17). Such loyalty in hardship tests the caliber of any profession of love.


Proverbs further warns that charm, wealth and power should not be confused with genuine friendship. "Wealth brings many new friends, but a poor man is deserted by his friend" (19:4). Many relationships form through shared advantage rather than actual affection and commitment. This is the friendship of the world rather than godly wisdom (James 4:4). For even as Christ laid down his life for His friends (Jn 15:13), the wise must discern in any bond who will give themselves in times of need.


Finally, Proverbs commends prudence in selecting friends, for there is great power in peer influence. “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm" (13:20). Just as Asaph struggled seeing the prosperity of the wicked (Ps 73), the righteous must take care regarding fraternity with fools. For we unavoidably imitate and are shaped by those closest around us over time.

Jesus also demonstrated selfless love for His followers, calling them "friends" and laying down His life for them (John 15:13). He trusted them enough to share intimate details about His relationship with the Father, saying “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15). Christ considered His disciples as friends, not merely servants, and confided in them as friends. On the night He was betrayed when the disciples were disputing who was the greatest, Jesus tenderly made a place for His beloved disciple John next to Him, allowing John to lean back against Jesus (John 13:23-25). After washing the disciples' feet, Jesus said, “I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you” (John 13:15), calling them to follow His model of servitude and sacrifice. As Jesus went to the cross on their behalf, He showed the greatest love by laying down His life for His friends (John 15:13). His treatment and care for His disciples epitomized covenant loyalty and selfless commitment unto death. This friendship served as the foundation of the early church. Jesus' treatment of His disciples epitomizes sacrificial commitment. 

Scripture makes clear that true friendship is not about shared interests or mutual usefulness alone. It is covenantal, more like a marriage than a business partnership. David bound himself to Jonathan "as the Lord lives" (1 Samuel 20:3), while Christ covenanted Himself to His followers in blood. This type of friendship endures when sentiments fade, or trials come. It gives courage in crisis and joy in fellowship.

As Christ's ambassadors, Christians today receive His extraordinary love and then must extend it to others. We befriend the lonely, serve the marginalized, and band together as a family in our churches. The selfless love modeled by David, Jonathan, and Jesus Himself should inspire our relationships. Faithfulness to God always manifests itself in love and loyalty to people, especially to those "knit to our souls" as friends. Our lives are enriched as we share the affection we have received, participating in the very friendship of the Trinity.

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